Red State versus Blue State

One of the worst things about having a government that is dominated by two diametrically-opposed political parties is that they always have the option of blaming each other for whatever is going wrong in the country. We are seeing a lot of that right now as they point fingers over who is more responsible for our woeful financial state.

The fact that we tend to get fed up with whichever party is currently in power and turn to their opponents in hopes they will do better makes it even harder to decide which of them is more incompetent. As the years go by control of the White House and Congress swings back and forth, and each side claims that they could get things straightened out if only those miscreants on the other side of the aisle would stop mucking things up. There seems to be no way to settle the argument of which party could really do a better job governing the country.

Well, I think that I have thought of a way to settle the argument once and for all. I would like to propose that we try a little political experiment.

My idea is to give each party one of our fifty states to rule over completely. They would do things their way in this state, unopposed by their nemeses in the other party, and at the end of a predetermined period of time (maybe 10 years or so) we’d see which of these states ended up with happier citizens.

Now which state would we give each party to run? I think we should choose a state that already leans heavily toward the party that is taking it over and one that is not terribly large or populous so it will be easier to manage.

I’m thinking I’d give South Carolina to the Republicans. I lived there for eight years and it’s a pretty conservative place, but there wasn’t much to do there. They could do with some excitement.

I’d give the Democrats Massachusetts. The state gave us the Kennedy’s, after all, and this would be a good way to pay them back.

In the Republic of South Carolina taxes would be low, government entitlement programs would be non-existent, and the Ten Commandments would be displayed on the grounds of every public building. Abortion would be completely outlawed, every school day would start and with a prayer, and the borders would be very secure (thanks to a very tall fence, and possibly land mines).

Meanwhile, a huge party would be going on up in the liberal utopia of Massachusetts. Everyone (who had a job) would be paying at least 50% of their income in taxes, but no one would mind because health care, education, retirement, and nearly everything else you need would be provided by some government program. The borders would be wide open, people could marry anyone or anything they wanted, and only the really bad drugs would be illegal.

At the end of ten years we’d do extensive polling in each state and see which group of citizens was most satisfied with life under exclusive control of each party and then we’d know once and for all whose ideas are really superior. Then maybe we could put an end to all the bickering between the parties and the loser would graciously disband itself.

You’re probably wondering if I’d be interested in living in either of these trial states while the experiment was going on. The answer is a resounding “no.” My suspicion is that after ten years Massachusetts would end looking too much like Greece does right now and South Carolina might have a little too much in common with Saudi Arabia.

Instead I will have slipped off to the Florida Keys, where the Libertarians would have quietly established their own little proving ground. You’re welcome to come and join us as long as you don’t expect something for nothing and you know how to mind your own dang business.