Some advice for the anxious young

I came across an item in the news this week that made me stop and do a double take. According to a new study based on the results of a psychological questionnaire that has been given to college and high school students since way back in 1938, young people today suffer from anxiety and other mental health issues at a rate that is five times higher than they did during the Great Depression.

Think about that for a minute. The Great Depression! People had some very good reasons to feel anxious back then, including not having jobs, places to live, or enough food to eat. And yet we are raising children who are five times more anxious than the children of that era were. It seems counterintuitive at first blush.

But if you’ve spent any time with people in their teens and twenties lately, you’ve probably noticed this phenomenon yourself. Many young adults seem restless, irritable, and dissatisfied, and it’s not because they are homeless or underfed. It seems to have a lot more to do with life not meeting their unreasonably high expectations.

Most young adults expect life to come to them and deliver the things that they want with minimal effort on their part, and they quickly become frustrated when that doesn’t happen. And it’s not really their fault, because in many cases we have raised them to believe that is how the world works.

We give them everything they need, everything they want, and then give them a little more, all the while trying to shield them from any pain or discomfort. Eventually, they make their way out into the world and find that the rest of the universe is not quite so preoccupied with making them happy. And then, very quickly, they become frustrated.

I’ve been alive for 43 years and counting, and I’ve endured my share of disappointments. But each one of them has taught me something., and I’d like to share a few of the lessons those disappointments have taught me with the young and the not-so-young who feel like the world is against them and that life will never live up to their expectations.

1. The universe was not designed to make you happy. Sometimes things will go your way, sometimes they won’t. It’s like that for all of us. You aren’t special.

2. As a rule, the rest of the human race is not looking out for your best interests. All the people around you are wrapped up in their own situations most of the time, and only occasionally will your wants and needs cross their minds. Most of the time, that includes even family members and close friends.

3. Acquiring things does not make you happy, at least not for long. The pleasure you get from money and the things it can get for you is notoriously fleeting. Love, friendship, working hard at something you enjoy, taking care of your spiritual side, helping out someone who in genuinely in need – those are the kinds of things that can bring you lasting satisfaction.

4. You live in a country where you have a high degree of personal freedom and a wealth of opportunity to pursue your dreams. You may very well come up short, but you’ll find that the pursuit is still worthwhile. In fact, it’s what life is really all about.

5. Remember that the world is in a constant state of flux. That means that good times won’t last, but neither will bad times. You will never reach a point in life where all your problems are resolved and you enjoy a state of perpetual bliss. It’s a rollercoaster from start to finish, and you can either enjoy the ride or squeeze your eyes shut and pray for it to be over. If you live long enough you might learn to be grateful for both the joy and the sorrow, since one can’t exist without the other.